Nope, not Brad.
Nope, not Asher.
Nope, not Bump either...
I have told you about this little man before, his name is Zebulon... yes my little mate Zebbie!
Everytime I see him I can't help but smile, and after seeing one of his latest pics with a little toy combie van on his mummy's blog I again grinned from ear to ear!
Not just cause he is soo cute, but cause over the past 5 years (and a bit) I have watched my friend's children grow up. The first two, the girls, are full of life and cheeky and beautiful and I just love them. However, I have a really different relationship with Zeb. I don't know if its cause I knew what his mum went through to get him, or if its cause he is a boy or what. But I know it is different. It is soo beautiful watching Asher just dote on him when he comes over. He watches out for him (most of the time), isn't too much in his face and shares his cars with him. The other night Asher even spent almost a half an hour setting up the esky, some chairs, and his toy wagon, oh and his dad's tool box, as a make shift fence so that, "When little Zebbie comes over he can't get to my room and hurt himself." Cute huh!
The past few weeks I have been struggling with how I am feeling about this pregnancy. Whilst I know that when this baby comes I will love him as much as I love Asher, I just can't help feeling aprehension of the "What if's". What if I don't bond with this boy, what if he senses I'm not as excited as I was with Asher, what if I don't love him as much as Asher... all silly I know but still they are there.
However in the last couple of days I have thought of how much I love and adore Zeb and the special connection I have with him, and I just can't help but think that if this is how I feel toward my dearest friend's little boy, how much more will I love my own baby boy.
Anyway, there it is... for those of you who have had more than one child, how did you feel?
4 comments:
Awwwwww! Zebs loves you too. He always has big smiles for you and Ash. And this bub will ADORE you (I mean who wouldn't eh)! I think that you are going to receive a real fulfilling and blessing seeing your boys bond. I think you'll be blown away by how special they both feel having a brother.
As a parent I think I work harder on building the sibling bonds in my house than I do on the parent/child friendship. And I get more satisfaction hearing The girls say 'i love you' to each other, than when they say it to me. You're going to love it, just as you love seeing Asher love on Zeb!
Can't wait!!!!!
First of all, katherine! That is such a beautiful thing! that you "get more satisfaction hearing The girls say 'i love you' to each other", it made me think about how God must feel when we do the same with each other. Ah so sweet!
But yeah, debs, i was exactly the same, and heaps of my friends too. You wonder how u could ever have enough love for both babies, but then out of nowhere (like the first time) your heart expands, it doubles i swear. So amazing. I agree, you are going to love it and you r going to be great! woo Xxx
Likewise I struggled with the same thing when pregnant with Ellie. I felt that I just had so much love for Alex that how could I possibly love another baby with as much passion. And then kapow!! You hold this new precous little bundle in your arms and know that you are their whole world and you just love them with your whole self. Try not to worry about it too much, it will all sort itself out. It is hard to find the TIME sometimes to devote to each of them but the loving is the easy bit :D
And I was the same. Amongst the exciement I can remember having a little 'grieve' the day before my induction with Lolly because I knew my little family would never be the same again...what had I got myself into!? Only the BEST thing ever! She arrived, my heart exploded all over again, all was well with the world.
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